So I have been at 218 for...forever. At least, that what it seems like. Step on the scale and what do I see?
A six. pound. gain.
I broke down. I just couldn't believe. I could not will myself to believe. Back up to the 30 BMI, back to obesity. I ran so much that I hurt my knee, I counted the calories, I tried my best to keep myself in check. I just could not understand.
Am I the perfect eater? Of course not. Some days are certainly better than other, but months of nothing and then six pounds? Six!? I'm losing my strength. I just can't with this. All this work and it's like I'm falling back. It makes me want to curl up and die. I really felt like quitting and just giving it up.
My mom and nurse are saying it is the birth control that I recently started and it is taking everything in me to believe that. I never thought I'd be obese again. It truly broke my heart, if not my spirit.
Don't give up, you've come way too far, we all have those days, weeks, even months when it seems like its going the wrong way.
ReplyDeleteIt's really hard to face a gain when you've been struggling so hard to maintain, but seriously -- you've successfully maintained a 100+ lb loss for how long now? I wish I had had the guts to do what you're doing when I was your age instead of waiting 10 years and three children. The worst thing you can do is let yourself get depressed now and let things slide.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the "weight gain" associated with starting birth control pills is mostly fluid retention, I believe. How long after your last weigh-in was the gain? If a short time, then it's almost certainly water and not fat. W
I agree with the others, don't forget how far you have come! This is a normal part of this journey. Instead of getting upset about it, get back into it! Decide if you want to be upset or proactive and go from there.
ReplyDeleteI have to tell myself this all the time. You already have the tools to successfully lose weight, so put them to good use and don't look back! =)
I too am obese, I understand your frustration. As I read your post I was dismayed, while goals are nice it should not take away from your JOY. Live in that 218 girl, live like it ain't 300+ lbs, cause it's NOT. Stop focusing on that one word OBESE. Focus on day to day healthy. You know what? today I will get up and move because you have inspired me. Don't let that one word steal your joy.
ReplyDeleteLove and light
LuvJones from Nappturality
I came to your blog because I saw your tracker on Nappturality. OMG! You have done the impossible! I wish I could lose and keep it off. Don't be upset about those pounds. You are obviously serious about this so they will come off again and take another 10 with them.
ReplyDeleteKeep your head up and stay focused! You are an inspiration to us all.