I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I do.

I don't like it when my family says anything about my body, weight, shape, or anything like that. I feel like it's a backhanded comment and it makes me want to scream.

My aunt today said something about my legs and stomach (I was fully covered, but it seemed that my clothes laid a certain way) and I said in response, "I really don't like you talking about it," and that was that...however, the rest of the time I felt really awkward. Almost naked. When this happens, I always want to scream "I'm still 80 plus pounds over weight! Don't tell me that I look thin or whatever, because we damn sure know that's not the truth! I can't buy what I want, I can sit where I want, and I'm still fat! The people around me at school and in the city make me well aware that I'm not yet good enough for society. So cut the bullsh*t!"

However, the rational side of me knows that this simply can not slip from my lips.

My nutritionist said that, maybe because they've seen me at my worse, it looks a lot different, that it's a shock. I always think that it wouldn't matter, because they've seen me through the whole thing. What's there to be shocked about? Its not like this happened over night, right?

I don't know. I guess because I know the reality of the situation, anything anyone says just feels like snide remark.

I'll have to fix that.

Or get them to shut up, whichever comes first.