I'm tired.
This week, I gained 3 pounds. My nurse wasn't all that concerned. She said I usually drop a lot (the six pounds from the previous week) and then gain a little. That's just how it goes. Still, it wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't trying to get out of the obese category all over again after I said I'd never go back there. *sigh*
I'm tired.
I made it to the gym everyday until yesterday, Thursday. I made it inside the gym, I changed my clothes, I got on the bike, and after about ten, fifteen minutes...and I just felt awful. I really just wasn't into it. I was tired and just wanted to go home. So I did. Bad Gabby.
What happened was, I decided to treat myself to a cookie. I had logged it before as around...200 calories. I looked at the label and found out that it was actually 356. The font was so small I just never noticed. I felt so depressed. You would of thought that would of kicked my fat butt into gear, but it just made me feel bad. It didn't even fix my eating habits! I ate so much yesterday.
And today, I'm sick. =_=
I had to walk to a station for an interview, so I wasn't totally inactive. I know walking doesn't do much for me anymore, but, hey, it's better than nothing. My eating habits weren't all that better today (two candy bars, can you believe it?). I always get hungrier when I'm sick. It's like some switch gets flipped and it's just me and food.
I feel my gut against my legs when I sit and get all teary eyed these days. I see the rolls and don't even want to go outside. I feel like I'm falling back into bad habits and it's scary. I don't want to go back to where I was. I really want to get to under 200.
Hopefully I'll get there by the end of the summer. I really just have to work hard and put an end to my candy only pity party. (Candy is only for Saturday anyway. :P)
HUG! Take a deep breath and then shake off the negative feelings. You've worked so hard already. Keep at it :)
ReplyDeleteYou can do it! Don't even think about it -- just do it. :)
ReplyDeleteEat healthy, lots of fruits and veggies, and just get into a sport or activity that you love to do. Make sure that what you're doing is what you want to do! That way you'll be able to stick with it. You just need some motivation. You've already worked really hard, and I think your story is inspiring. Keep it up -- there are people supporting you.
Take heart-we all hit a wall or feel down. You will get back on track! It maybe that you are going through some things emotionally that you haven't consciously identified-I find that happens to me and my eating reflects it. You will reach your goal sister!
ReplyDelete