I feel like I have just been going further and further back. I'm at 237. Just touching being less than 100 pounds lost. I mean, I used to be a 209. How did I get this way? My grandmother is suggesting weight loss surgery again and I just feel like I'm going further and further back until I'll wake up back at the start.
My pants are getting tight, bulges are making reappearances. I just feel so gross and so...weak. Why can everyone else seem to do it and I can't? I'm working out six days a week, I count my calories. Yeah, I may make a mistake be...50 calories, but not enough to make me gain so much weight.
These days I just think about it and cry. I'm so embarrassed. When I started this blog, I felt proud and I wanted to share with people, but now I just want to curl up and vanish.
Gabby, I lost track of your blog when I switched jobs and basically took a year off of my own struggle.
ReplyDeleteI just finally put out the effort to find your blog again.
I want to tell you that what you are doing is wonderful. Yes, it has been three years. Yes, you are thirty pounds up from your lowest and struggling to stay there. But imagine -- if you hadn't put in those three years?
I am 30 years old and struggling to lose again the forty (!) pounds I regained this past year -- noting that my total loss was only 65 lbs to start with. And that 65 pounds barely put me under the morbid obesity line. I gave up too many times. Gave up and ended up bigger than ever before. Please don't do that to yourself.
Have you ever read the blog "Escape from Obesity"? She's in a very different place than you are, but one reason I find her inspiring is that she has blogged a multi-year struggle where she initially lost 100 lbs and has been maintaining the past two years at around 60 lbs lost. I don't necessarily agree with how she is doing it (though who am I to disagree when I'm back within shouting distance of my highest weight) but the persistence is nevertheless remarkable.