The Second Freshmen: Anna

I've been at this weight-loss game for a long time--since I was 12, in fact, and it's only come to my attention now that playing games gets me absolutely nowhere. I've been the chubby girl, 20 pounds down, 40 pounds up, 30 pounds down, 30 pounds up again. Now, I'm 8.5 pounds down, leaving me here, at 151 pounds.

So, I only have about 21 lbs to go until my journey is "complete" in terms of weight loss, but I realize that there's another big part that I have to face, a part that is scary and a part that so many people can't bring themselves to embark on: MAINTAINENCE.

The thought of being lost to food forever scares me. Well, not so much lost, but somedays I get frustrated that I can only eat 1300 calories. This past week, I indulged a little too much, and I lost nothing. Didn't gain, true, but lost nothing. That's still a victory, and I'll be patient, but sometimes I think the hardest thing about this "marathon" is imagining my old pants fitting me, thinking about one of my favorites dresses slipping on, or even my smaller underwear getting around my booty--and not being able to do any one of those things.

There are days, like today, where I feel a little hopeless, and a lot scared for what's to come: that is, college. But, I can't make excuses, I can't complain, I can't even whine. That won't make the weight come off any faster or stay off any longer. What will? My constant and honest effort. I'm blogging to see myself evolve, and I hope throughout this blog, I am able to come to terms not only with my childish fears and insecurities, but also love myself more than I do.

SW: 159.5

CW: 151

GW: 130

I can do this thing.